Race Report: Wife Carrying Championships 18/03/2012

Wife carrying has a long and murky history. Some say a gang of nineteenth-century Finnish robbers stole other men’s wives, carrying them away. Others say that these robbers ran around with their own wives on their backs in order to be strong and fast enough to make off with large bags of loot. However it began, it’s now a serious sport practiced on three continents and, as a thoroughly weird race, it was only a matter of time before it came to Michael Escolme’s attention.

The Estonian hold

Having talked me into agreeing to let him enter back in January, Michael and I did an evening’s training in which he carried me up and down the stairs in the Estonian hold. 

Two months later we were in a field in Surrey, surrounded by a dozen other couples and a lot of spectators, wishing, too late, that we’d practiced a bit more. The competition varied from a couple in which the male half had legs as long as I am tall and the female half was matchstick thin, to a couple who were roughly the same height as each other but the man appeared to have muscles of steel. Also present was the former US champion wife carrier (Superman in the video).

Mary was shocked to find her boots weighed 25kg each.

The race course is only 250m long. The field rises, gently at first, then more steeply to the turnaround point. In the middle was an obstacle consisting of five hay bales, offering a challenge to those who were not blessed with long legs. After the official weighing of the “wives” to make sure nobody was less than 50kg, we lined up ready to start. The majority of the entrants, including us, went for the Estonian hold, in which the “wife” is effectively a human backpack. As the organiser shouted “GO”, we set off. 

Receiving the ceremonial dog food and Pot Noodle for last place.

As I was hanging upside down, with my head on a level with Michael’s bottom, clinging to his middle for dear life, I can’t give a very detailed account of the race. I know that it didn’t take long for Michael, running under a combined weight of over 20 stone, to slow his pace and for his breathing to become a little laboured. I know he walked up the steepest part of the hill. He gave Superman a high five as he passed us on the homeward stretch. When we turned round to go back, he informed me that we were going to come last by some margin and, maybe because of the blood rushing to my head, I started laughing and laughed my way through Michael running back down the hill, some over-efficient person chucking a bucket of water over us, climbing over the hay bales and crossing the finish line. 

  

A small keg of beer was awarded to all participants. For medicinal purposes of course.

The man who ran 22 marathons in 2011 was understandably wheezing and exhausted after this 1/4km race. We went up to collect our keg of beer, which all participants got, and our special consolation prizes of a tin of dog food and a pot noodle.  Support for this race was great, the cost was just £5 and it ended up being broadcast on two Australian TV channels. We’re going back next year with a secret game plan for a spectacular victory but long-legged Striders who have teeny tiny wives (or who have teeny tiny friends and understanding wives) should definitely give this race a whirl. Or, alternatively, this could be a brilliant way to introduce the Crewe Déjà Vu Two...

Prime time New Zealand TV. Seriously.

For more information, visit the Trionium website.

Mary